Finding light in darkness: Maha’s journey of healing

"I knew I needed help, and there was something wrong with my thoughts, but I couldn't help myself," Maha said.  

Maha, a 39-year-old Syrian refugee and mother of five, arrived in Jordan in 2013. Her journey began in a refugee camp, but the harsh living conditions soon forced her to seek shelter elsewhere.

Life as a refugee has been full of challenges. Maha’s husband, once employed in construction, suffered a work accident that aggravated an old injury and left him unable to work.  

With no income, and no external support, the family now struggles to survive. Two of their sons, both still minors, left school to help support the family. As refugees without work permits, they struggle to find jobs and now collect bread and scrap materials to sell.

The family hardships took a toll on Maha’s mental health, especially after her sister passed away. "I had all the worries and strains on one, side and my sister's death on the other side," she recalled.

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Every day is a new chance

Maha began experiencing panic attacks, insomnia, and overwhelming anxiety. She feared for her children and herself, and recognised that she needed help but did not know where to turn.

Through neighbours and former participants, she learnt about psychosocial support sessions offered by Medair’s local partner, Afaq Al Riadeh.  

At the first session, Maha simply listened. But the calm, reassuring voice of the facilitator and the accessible way the material was delivered began to soothe her. “The first thing that caught my attention in the sessions was the presenter's voice; it was able to reach all our hearts. I was tense, and her voice calmed me. I felt safe and comfortable,” she said.  

The session on grief and loss was especially meaningful. Maha realized she was not alone; others in the group had also lost loved ones. “I thought I was the only one who was sad, but it turned out that everyone in the session felt the same. I learnt that I must be strong and adapt for myself and my children, and not let depression take over, she said.”

For Maha, opening up became a turning point. She discovered that expressing her emotions was not a weakness, but a path to healing. Her family noticed the difference: she began smiling again, engaging with her children, and showing signs of her former self. “I started laughing and interacting with my family. I felt how far I was; Iittle by little, I came back," she said. 

Despite the ongoing challenges, Maha made the sessions a priority. They became a lifeline, and her physical symptoms began to ease as her mental health improved. She started sleeping better, thinking more clearly, and enjoying moments of joy with her family. “The psychological pain was affecting my body. Now I’m more active, more focused, and more comfortable. The lack of sleep used to exhaust me," Maha said.  

Maha now encourages others to seek support, knowing how powerful it can be to share experiences and know you are not alone. Her journey is far from over, but she is no longer walking it in silence.

“Every woman needs these sessions,” she insists. “They teach you how to adapt, how to manage your thoughts, and how to find strength, even in the darkest times.”

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Finding strength amid hardship

The family continues to struggle with debts exceeding 700 Jordanian dinars to local shops and pharmacies, not including rent arrears.  

Maha herself has faced serious health challenges, suspected breast cancer, a herniated disc in her neck, and chronic pain that prevents her from working. The death of her sister from uterine cancer deeply affected her, pushing her into grief and emotional distress.  

Yet through the sessions, she found resilience. “I was very negative. I saw myself as sick all the time. After adjusting my behavior, I started seeing positivity in my life. Looking at my children and my husband, they need my support. I started feeling the good things around me,” she said.

In collaboration with Medair, and with support from the German Federal Foreign Office, Afaq Al Riadeh provides psychosocial support through peer support groups for adults, and support groups for adolescents and their caregivers. The sessions focus on stress management, emotional regulation, communication, and coping with trauma.  

This content was produced with resources gathered by Medair field and headquarters staff. The views expressed herein are those solely of Medair and should not be taken, in any way, to reflect the official opinion of any other organisation.  

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