Rawan's battle: Choosing between survival and motherhood

"I wish I could afford my medication because I'm terrified of leaving my babies behind or reaching a point where I can't take care of them."Thousands of Syrian refugees in Jordan face harsh living conditions. Limited resources and economic challenges make daily life even more difficult, preventing many from accessing essential services. Medair walks alongside refugees and vulnerable Jordanians, ensuring they can meet their basic needs, including access to healthcare, cash assistance, and livelihood support. Our mission is to provide life-saving support whilst strengthening families to build a more stable future.

Rawan is one of many refugees facing immense challenges. She fled to Jordan with her family in 2016, seeking safety and a better future. But life has not been easy for her.

Rawan was diagnosed with leukaemia when she underwent routine medical tests before marriage. "It was a shock when the doctor told me. I had never experienced any symptoms," she recalls. "What made it even more difficult was that my fiancé broke off our engagement when he found out." As she speaks, her expression shifts, disappointment and pain reflected in her eyes.

A few years later, Rawan married someone else and found comfort and support in him. However, their economic situation remained difficult. Her husband worked in construction, but his job was unstable, and he often struggled to find work, making it hard for them to secure a stable income.

Despite their challenges, Rawan and her husband dreamed of building a family. A few years into their marriage, she became pregnant with their first child. However, their financial difficulties made it impossible for her to afford proper medical care. Since she had leukaemia, continuing her treatment during pregnancy was risky, but stopping it also put her health in danger.

Medair covered the expenses for both Rawan's delivery and her baby's premature care, but she continued to struggle to afford her medication.

A year later, she faced another challenge: an unplanned pregnancy with triplets. Once again, Medair stepped in, covering the costs of her delivery and the premature care for the babies.

"It was a very difficult time for me. I was exhausted, unable to move, and in desperate need of support. The financial stress was overwhelming because I knew my babies would be born prematurely, which meant high medical costs," Rawan recalled.

Amid these struggles, Rawan became pregnant again with her fifth child. With no stable income and mounting financial pressure, she feared how they would manage another baby. Once again, Medair provided critical support, covering the costs of her third delivery and ensuring her baby received the necessary medical care.

"If Medair hadn't helped us with these expenses, our names would have been placed on legal claims, and my husband could have been at risk of imprisonment. We’re already behind with our rent, and in debt to the pharmacy and the grocery store. If Medair hadn't helped, our debt would have been even worse by now," Rawan explained.

Medair continued to support Rawan by educating her about breastfeeding. However, she was afraid to nurse her babies due to her cancer and the medication she had to take. "I was scared that my illness or the treatment would harm them. Medair provided me with all the information I needed, but I still wished I could have breastfed my babies without fear," she said.

During this challenging period, Rawan's husband suffered a leg injury, making it difficult for him to work. His condition worsened, especially in winter, as the pain became unbearable and affected his mobility.

Rawan and her family live in a damp, mould-infested home, which has severely impacted her children's health, causing skin allergies. They struggle to afford rent, whilst their debt accumulates. They can't buy enough food or even basic necessities like nappies.

Tears filled Rawan's eyes as she shared her reality: "We don't receive any kind of assistance. I feed my babies chamomile tea and biscuits because I can't afford milk. When I have to choose between buying food, nappies, and milk for my children, or getting medical tests for myself, I always prioritise my babies over my own health."

Winter makes everything even harder for Rawan and her family. "I have only one gas cylinder, and I try not to use it unless it's extremely cold. I put all my children under the blankets, and we spend the night sitting on the bed, trying to keep warm. There’s no other way to stay warm," she said.

Medair provides Rawan and her family with unconditional cash assistance for six months to help them meet their basic needs. This support enables her to provide food for her babies and pay rent. Medair remains committed to standing among the suffering to support those in need.

Despite the hardships, Rawan remains hopeful. "Life is incredibly difficult, but at least we’re safe here. I just wish I could improve our living conditions and support my family," she said.

With support from the Bureau of Population, Refugees, and Migration and the German Federal Foreign Office, Medair provides comprehensive support to refugees and vulnerable Jordanians. This includes maternal health services, ensuring safe deliveries, and promoting essential nutrition and newborn care practices, as well as cash assistance and case management. Together, these interventions aim to safeguard the health and dignity of mothers like Rawan and strengthen resilience across communities.

This content was produced with resources gathered by Medair field and headquarters staff. The views expressed herein are those solely of Medair and should not be taken, in any way, to reflect the official opinion of any other organization.

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